There is a good 3(well basically 2) months till I turn 21, but I’ve been feeling very emotional about it lately, and just needed to write about it…Gosh I feel old.
When you live in the UK, 21 isn’t really a turning point legally. You can legally give consent at 16, drive at 17(or 16 for a mo-ped), you can drink/smoke at 18. 21? Not much really, except you’re now officially heading into adulthood. The stages of 19-20, aren’t so important in life. You’re at that awkward stage of “Am I a teen” “Am I an adult”. But the stamp of 21 highlights that the games are over kids, and life is about to get serious. But to everyone, turning 21 can mean something different. And this is what it means to me.
Turning 21, means adulthood to me. Before, I was still a child. Of course, I still have plenty of time to grow and learn. But at this stage, I’m expected to know where my life is heading, or at least trying to act as mature as I can be. Everyday, we are counting down the moments to death. “Oh I can’t believe I’ll be 21 soon” “Where has time gone”. We’re constantly obsessed with time, and while yes, it can move fast, we may need to slow it down ourselves. Turning 21, means questions. Getting questions left, right and center about where I’m going, what adulthood means for me. And personally, I still don’t know, and that’s okay! By 21, people have experienced things I haven’t and that’s okay too. Being 21 to me means that I’ve reached a stage where I’m just considered an adult, and maybe now I can be taken seriously when discussing things.
Turning 21 now means that my babyface isn’t the worst thing at the world. Being 16-20 years old and looking 12 was the worst thing ever for me. Although it was great being asked if I wanted a child ticket, when I would like an alcoholic drink, or getting into a club and asking for ID, can be quite humiliating. I just wanted to be considered an adult dammit! But now I’m nearly 21, I’m dreading the day I’m 40 and look…40. I want my baby face to remain, and I’m hoping even at 21, I still keep my young looks well into my 20s. Maybe looking 18 at least, maybe not 12.
Turning 21, means to me that I now have an obsession with cleaning. Yes! It’s like suddenly a wave has washed over me, and I just want everything to sparkle, and have 99.9% less germs. Before now, I didn’t really care. Well; I cared to a degree. As long as I could see the floor, there was no mice and I knew where everything was, I was grand. But in comparison to sparkling clean, or having the urge to just sit and wipe the coffee table all day, that wasn’t me. It would take a lot for me to hoover, or put the dishwasher on. But now, I’m happy to do it all. Of course, I’m still learning. I’m still getting the hang of things, but let me tell you! I can atleast make things smell nice, and not harmful to Sox!
Turning 21 means to me, relaxation around my parents. I love my parents to bit, and I was always a bit scared about how I presented myself, my language. But now, I feel more lax. If I need to swear, I will. If I need to shout, or get angry I will. Of course, in a respectful sense and never actually to my parents, but I feel that I can be seen as someone they can have a friendly debate with. I’m not just their baby anymore, but their delightful young-adult daughter who can conversate in a mature manner, and not feel scared to open my mouth to discuss things.
21 is the end of fun. Well, not that I have much fun, but I found myself getting more serious. Back when I was 16-18, my short term goal was to always have an amazing house party for my birthday. However, now my main goal is moving in with my partner, or providing for my cute little pup Sox. There are of course people who are my age who concern themselves with the things I used to, and that’s okay! But it means, getting my own identity, my own place, my own stamp out into the world.
What did you learn or notice was happening at 21? Or how do things differ for you now you aren’t 21? What are your life goals?