Develop a more confident version of you!*

No one is confident 100% of the time. Not even those celebs on Insta that look as if they are the most fearless people in the world. Of course, having chronically low confidence isn’t much fun either. In fact, it can affect your life in so many ways from the decisions you make to the way you see yourself. The good news is there are some ways that you can transform yourself into a more confident version of yourself. A subject that is discussed in more detail below.

*’This is a contributed/collaborative/partnered post’. Some parts were added in by myself. All my blog posts include affiliate advertisements. Credit to Svethilla for the picture.

The first way to develop a more confident version of yourself is to take a look at your boundaries. These are the limits we have for the ways that others treat us, as well as how we treat ourselves. In fact, it is often the case that those people with lower self-confidence find it harder to implement their own boundaries with others. Something that leaves them vulnerable to mistreatment and being taken advantage of.

A great place to start when it comes to boundaries is what Bene Brown says about them. That is, you cannot be brave with your life, and do what makes you happy, and never disappoint anyone. Something that reminds us it is not our job to make others happy but to focus on what is best for us. Of course, there are other ways that you can be more robust with your boundaries as well. Such as practising saying no to people without having to explain why, and even telling people when they have upset you. Something that can open up the possibility of communication rather than letting resentment build. I personally suffer from boundary issues but more so in the way that I isolate myself from others. I am definitely not a people person, but from a perspective of a mother, I know it’s valuable for my son to get out, meet new people and gain new confidence; which I am working on.


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Next, when it comes to being more confident, being able to negotiate appropriately is essential. After all, if you have faith in your own ability to get what you need from a situation, you will naturally feel more confident, even faced with a challenge. The great thing about negotiation is that it is a skill that can be nurtured. In fact, there are even courses that you can take on this subject that will go over the different stages of being able to negotiate effectively. Such as getting off to a good start, establishing common ground, and bargaining.

Of course, just like any skill, it’s not just about knowing how to negotiate well that matters. It’s being able to perform this skill as well. That is why taking time to put into practice the skills you have learned is so important. Happily, you will likely be faced with these types of situations everyday in life, so you can hone your abilities in no time at all.

Positive self talk

Another way that you can become a more confident version of yourself is to take a look at yourself. Self-talk is the inner monologue that many people have that usually describes what is happening or how you are feeling at any given moment.

The problem is that for some of us with lower confidence, this monologue can be taken up with negative thoughts, regrets, and criticism. Something that can negatively affect our mood, and make it very hard to be confident enough to try and excel at new things.

Of course, what it is vital to remember here is that just because that voice is talking, it doesn’t mean what it is saying is true. In fact, a negative inner monologue can often be down to habit, something that means we can change it if we try. Yes, it might feel weird disagreeing with that voice for a while, or pointing out your strengths and successes. Yet after a time, it will feel much more natural, and your inner monologue will be one that is much more positive as well. Something that will help boost your confidence a great deal.

Dealing with anxiety

It can be said that the opposite of confidence is anxiety. Something that usually springs from doubts of our own abilities. Of course, a little anxiety is usual for all humans. Yet, for some, this emotion can be much more pronounced or chronic, draining their confidence and ability to enjoy life.

With that in mind, if you are feeling overwhelmed with anxiety, panic attacks, GAD, or OCD, the best course of action is to seek treatment. In fact, in most cases, a specialist will be able to help you address your condition. This is usually done by slowly exposing you to the things that trigger your anxiety and building up your confidence in dealing with them. Something that can not only help you feel better but encourage a greater sense of self-worth and overall confidence in your life as well. I was diagnosed with GAD when I was around 13 years old, and diagnosed with mild OCD linked to Social Anxiety disorder when I was 18. The best thing I ever did was see a neuropsychologist. She helped me look back and see why I was so anxious and local community help I could get. Of course; therapy wasn’t everything for me but being open with my loved ones. Read more here.


What is your advice?


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